Rubber Band...out the window at week 14

Instantly the day I found out I was pregnant, I automatically just felt HUGE! Like none of my clothes fit, or everybody knew I looked different. All of my clothes still fit of course, I was like a "second" pregnant, but still somehow already started feeling "fat and ugly". I spent hours sitting in my closet, pulling out and trying on just about everything I owned. After 2 hours of Anthony waiting on me, he would finally come in and sit in closet with me. Suggesting different things, I would come up with a million excuses of why I couldn't wear it. It would eventually end in tears and me only wanting to go places I wouldn't look out of place in my pajamas (my parents house most times).

I was still working out in the gym 5 days a week, that was until my my horrible morning sickness kicked in at 7 weeks. I would wake up at 4:30 to get to the gym by 5am, get sick in the parking lot, and come back home crying. Not to mention the fact that I have absolutely no energy, so those days I did make it inside I walked around in a daze! We decided it was best for me to get some rest for the next few weeks, and stop spending so much time at work.

Still with my clothes getting tighter and even more uncomfortable, it takes me about 3 hours to get ready for my day. I have to spend time recovering from the hot shower, that would make me sick. Time sitting in the closet crying, and then once I finally found something to wear I would have to take breaks every 5 minutes in between the entire process.

Anthony kept suggesting buying some new clothes and I kept telling him I didn't need any. My jeans still fit, but I felt so uncomfortable not knowing if I was squishing the little baby. So I added the rubber band to give me a little extra room. I always buy all my clothes to fit me perfectly which helps me to stay in shape, but at 13 weeks I knew it just wasn't going to work anymore. My belly isn't big, but my clothes are not made for a pop belly! So I finally went this weekend and tried on maternity clothes, I hated all the jeans and most of the pants were to big for me, I got a lot of them anyway because it's better than what I have now.

I feel so much better, with plenty of room for Nuter to grow! With my energy slowly picking up, nausea slowing down, I'm really looking forward to getting back in the gym so I can continue to have a healthy pregnancy!

To cough or not to cough?

Our little Nutter Butter at 11 weeks!

So far the best day of pregnancy, getting to see the baby.

I cried, as I heard the tiny heart beat.

Seeing the baby swirl around, doing flips, it melted my heart.

I finally felt like a mother, and would gladly continue in all of my misery,

for this little person growing inside of me.

I suddenly felt so protective,

Every time I coughed the baby would jump around on the screen,

I thought for sure, I could never cough again,

what if it hurts the baby when I do?

I could surely never sleep on my belly again.

What if baby doesn't have room to twirl?

We got home and I quickly began to "google"

I had to know what was safe....

I've since coughed again...

but it's always followed by a smile,

because I know my Nutter Butter just jumped around!

Finally....

So I finally started the blog I said I was going to start back in January, but I guess now more than ever I have lots to write about. Interesting or not, I'm no good with journals (I've lost them all) I can't lose my blog!

We have a lot going on right now....Anthony and I have been married now for 142 days (thanks facebook counter) Since November 1st 2008, and I must say we got the shock of our lives when my pregnancy test came up "pregnant" on January 16Th, I still won't ever forget that day, I've never experienced so many emotions all at once. I honestly had to say I kinda knew that I was, intuition I guess, but I had been putting off taking the test, finally that Saturday morning at 5am I couldn't lay in bed wondering anymore. I jumped up and took the test, ironically I was very calm during those two minutes, right up until the point I picked up the test and saw my results. I snatched the bathroom door open, and in a voice I've never heard before screamed "I'm pregnant"! Poor Anthony, jumps out of bed and almost goes running for the door. I just kept screaming until I backed into the bathroom and just fell on the floor crying. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad, scared or excited....but at that very moment I felt all those emotions all at once. We had only been married 2 1/2 months and had "planned" on waiting 2-5yrs before we had any kids....God had planned something different.

After a few hours of shock, going from happy to sad I realized I was more scared than anything.
Scared that I wouldn't be a good mother, Scared we didn't have enough room in the apartment for a baby, Scared we didn't have enough room in our truck for a baby, Scared that I would be a failure at the one thing I have always wanted most in life.

We then together made a choice, to move forward knowing that God would always put us in situations that we CAN'T handle, but only so we would put it in his hands and let him handle it.
His strength is perfect, when I'm falling apart on the bathroom floor, His words are perfect when Anthony has no idea what to say to bring me comfort.

Now about 13 weeks in, I've never been more excited about anything. All I've ever wanted was to marry Anthony and have his babies, just as we always promised each other when we were just 10 and 13yrs old. It's been difficult with morning/ afternoon/ night sickness, not being able to keep anything down, my lack of energy and my expanding body, but having him by my side, telling me it will all be okay, and how grateful he his is that I'm having his baby, makes it easier. Not to mention knowing that in 6 months I will get to hold this sweet little gift, and love this baby for a lifetime.