Sooner than we thought...

I was so busy over the weekend I forgot to update everyone about my doctors appointment on Friday, I was scheduled for my regular 31 week check up and as soon as the doctor walked in the room she says "oh you look like your ready to pop, how many weeks are you?" I replied with "31 weeks and 1 day" she then asks if I'm sure, I'm going off what my emails tell me and the due date you guys gave me, and she reminds me that the due date they gave me is based off the dates I gave them.....I've never been one to keep track of those things so I very well could have been wrong...So she took the measurements of my uterus and said she is sure my dates are off, and she needs to do another ultrasound to take Penelope's measurements to see when a more realistic due date is.

Now I'm completely fine with my Tiny Dancer coming sooner, because honestly before God I do not feel like I will be alive in nine weeks, I'm just not going to make it, not at this rate! I was scared at first because we had nothing but a pile of books and stuffed animals from her Ya Ya and Gag (her grandmas), so poor little Nelly would be naked but well educated. We haven't even started our birthing classes yet, so we would not know what to do! So we are scheduled for our ultrasound on the 10th of August, they wanted me to stay that day but I had to many things to do and I would have been there all day. I have also been having so many braxton hicks, two weeks ago we almost went to the hospital because they kept getting worse and closer together, after about two hours and a hot bath they were not as sharp anymore and after laying down for a bit they went away, and ever since then they have been more frequent but never more than 3 an hour. So the doctor said to call if I have five in one hour.

We had our baby shower this weekend and had so much fun!! Penelope got lots of great things and now if she comes early we will be ready! We finished painting the nursery and just have to get it all set up, right now her room is just full of gifts, I have still have to go through everything and see what sizes we have and what things she still needs right away but every time I sit down to do it I get side tracked because it's all so cute, then I get tired and end up in bed! Penelope and I are usually in bed these days by 6:00pm and sleep by 7:00!

Pay me back double....

I'm almost finished! I can still remember when 30 weeks seemed so far away, when all I wanted was to make it to 12 weeks to hear her tiny heart beating, tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about her tiny heart, I have life in me and it's my sole responsibility to protect and care for her. There is nothing that Anthony can do or my Mom can do, sure they can help by making sure I eat all the right things and keeping me away from a Mike Hard Lemonade at family cookouts, but ultimately this little heart depends on me. My mind quickly went from the first time I would feel her heart beat to thinking what if this tiny heart gets broken, what if some boy hurts her little feelings or doesn't return her call. "Penelope is never dating" I quickly thought, I will always remember the first time I heard her little heart beating.

After that day all I wanted was to make it to 20 weeks so that I could see her again and find out if it was a boy or girl, even though I knew from the beginning it was my little Penelope, I wanted to be sure. I still remember when she came on the screen and had her legs open wide...showing us she was a girl. My mind quickly raced, I have to teach her how to be a woman, would I be able to have those mother daughter talks my mom was so famous for with her, was I even a good example of woman for her and all I continued to think about was "what if I fail?" or "what if she turns out like me?".

10 weeks later I got see her face for the first time at our 3d/4d ultrasound. It was amazing, she took my breath away. I had this overwhelming feeling of pride, knowing that I got her to this point. She is healthy and looked rather happy as she smiled and played with her umbilical cord, even though when we started she had her middle finger up! We got to watch her for about 30 minutes and it was the best 30 minutes of my life. They pointed out all her little features and showed us how much hair she has, which was comforting because I haven't had any heartburn which everyone says is a sign of lots hair...we were a bit worried she was going to be bald. That would be weird considering Anthony and I both have plenty of curly hair to share! It was an awesome experience and I'm glad my family was able to be in the room and watch with us.

We still have lots to do to get ready for her to make her grand entrance, and I feel a little stressed because it seems like no matter how much we do we will never be ready. I finally scheduled our tour of the hospital for August 12Th and we start our Birthing class on August 3rd. I think that will help Anthony a lot because he is having a hard time grasping this entire pregnancy thing, he doesn't understand the why I'm tired, or why my appetite is like that of a teenage boy, or why I need to take a break in the middle of the grocery store and sit down in the middle of the frozen food section! He has even asked if I should be drinking baby formula or breast milk so the baby can get all the vitamins, and how he wishes he could send Penelope a toy to play with because he didn't want her to get bored playing with the cord! I asked how he thought we would get this toy to her....he just looked at me and I just laughed! He doesn't do well with blood or even band aids...so I'm worried we might have to knock him out in the delivery room!

30 weeks later and all I want is a chance to meet her, a chance to hold my entire world in my arms, to look my universe in her eyes and see every dream I've ever had come true.

All the back pain and lack of sleep doesn't even matter, I would gladly go back to week 8 when I couldn't keep any food down, when I sat crying in the bathroom at work, pleading with my baby to stop being so mean...trying to figure out what I did that could have been so horrible that I'm being payed back for...I would ask to be payed back double.

And.....

And she will be loved…….

We are so excited to announce that we are having a little girl!
Thank God, because Daddy and I can’t agree on any boy names.
I was so nervous I could hardly sleep last night, I was so excited.
The ultrasound was pretty long taking all the measurements, but as soon as we started she had her legs open wide with her feet by her head showing her little butt and letting us a know exactly what she was, so we would be sure to buy her lots of nice things! It’s was difficult to get all of the measurements with her curled up in ball, they kept shaking my belly to try to get her to move but she wasn’t having it! I apologized for the first time of many I’m sure for my little one not cooperating. After about twenty minutes she finally put her legs down, but only long enough to get what we needed and then we watched her grab her feet and put them back up to her head.
I will be twenty weeks tomorrow, and can’t believe that I am half way finished!

Rice & Chicken bowl

It's been a some time since I have updated the blog, but give me break! I'm pregnant and sleep is top dog on my list! I have still been feeling pretty good, however I'm still throwing up a lot. Which brings me to a recent lesson I learned last Friday, I was embarrassed by my baby even before the arrival. It all started when I got a crazy craving for Qdoba Mexican Grill, a rice and chicken bowl was what I needed to make it to the next day! So after trying to convince everyone at work that they needed it as well I was off to Qdoba. A few hours before though I wasn't feeling to well, and figured it was just because I was hungry, and hadn't had breakfast because I usually can't keep anything down that early in the morning. I felt like I would be fine as soon as I got my rice and chicken bowl. So I'm standing in line right at the lunch rush waiting to order my food, when all of a sudden I start vomiting right in line, I try to quickly run to the bathroom, but all that did was create a different spot on the floor, two inches away from this business man, in his nice suit and dress shoes I almost vomited on. I start hysterically crying, while some women in line and employees are trying to help me giving me napkins and trying to clean up the floor. I was so embarrassed and so hysterical that I just ran out the restaurant, without ordering food and cried in the truck for 10 minutes before I could get myself together to drive back to work. I'm trying to call Anthony, but he was working in some NASA building and wasn't allowed to use his phone. I get back to the office and tried to keep it together but I was only gone for about 10 minutes so everyone is asking where my food was. That only made me burst into tears again because I was still hungry and was so embarrassed. Thankfully Anthony left NASA and went and got me the rice bowl from Qdoba (that I only took four bites of before getting full).

I have never been so embarrassed in my life, I'm just hoping everyone in the restaurant that day knew I was pregnant, and just some chick with a beer belly blowing chunks on the floor.

Rubber Band...out the window at week 14

Instantly the day I found out I was pregnant, I automatically just felt HUGE! Like none of my clothes fit, or everybody knew I looked different. All of my clothes still fit of course, I was like a "second" pregnant, but still somehow already started feeling "fat and ugly". I spent hours sitting in my closet, pulling out and trying on just about everything I owned. After 2 hours of Anthony waiting on me, he would finally come in and sit in closet with me. Suggesting different things, I would come up with a million excuses of why I couldn't wear it. It would eventually end in tears and me only wanting to go places I wouldn't look out of place in my pajamas (my parents house most times).

I was still working out in the gym 5 days a week, that was until my my horrible morning sickness kicked in at 7 weeks. I would wake up at 4:30 to get to the gym by 5am, get sick in the parking lot, and come back home crying. Not to mention the fact that I have absolutely no energy, so those days I did make it inside I walked around in a daze! We decided it was best for me to get some rest for the next few weeks, and stop spending so much time at work.

Still with my clothes getting tighter and even more uncomfortable, it takes me about 3 hours to get ready for my day. I have to spend time recovering from the hot shower, that would make me sick. Time sitting in the closet crying, and then once I finally found something to wear I would have to take breaks every 5 minutes in between the entire process.

Anthony kept suggesting buying some new clothes and I kept telling him I didn't need any. My jeans still fit, but I felt so uncomfortable not knowing if I was squishing the little baby. So I added the rubber band to give me a little extra room. I always buy all my clothes to fit me perfectly which helps me to stay in shape, but at 13 weeks I knew it just wasn't going to work anymore. My belly isn't big, but my clothes are not made for a pop belly! So I finally went this weekend and tried on maternity clothes, I hated all the jeans and most of the pants were to big for me, I got a lot of them anyway because it's better than what I have now.

I feel so much better, with plenty of room for Nuter to grow! With my energy slowly picking up, nausea slowing down, I'm really looking forward to getting back in the gym so I can continue to have a healthy pregnancy!

To cough or not to cough?

Our little Nutter Butter at 11 weeks!

So far the best day of pregnancy, getting to see the baby.

I cried, as I heard the tiny heart beat.

Seeing the baby swirl around, doing flips, it melted my heart.

I finally felt like a mother, and would gladly continue in all of my misery,

for this little person growing inside of me.

I suddenly felt so protective,

Every time I coughed the baby would jump around on the screen,

I thought for sure, I could never cough again,

what if it hurts the baby when I do?

I could surely never sleep on my belly again.

What if baby doesn't have room to twirl?

We got home and I quickly began to "google"

I had to know what was safe....

I've since coughed again...

but it's always followed by a smile,

because I know my Nutter Butter just jumped around!