To cough or not to cough?

Our little Nutter Butter at 11 weeks!

So far the best day of pregnancy, getting to see the baby.

I cried, as I heard the tiny heart beat.

Seeing the baby swirl around, doing flips, it melted my heart.

I finally felt like a mother, and would gladly continue in all of my misery,

for this little person growing inside of me.

I suddenly felt so protective,

Every time I coughed the baby would jump around on the screen,

I thought for sure, I could never cough again,

what if it hurts the baby when I do?

I could surely never sleep on my belly again.

What if baby doesn't have room to twirl?

We got home and I quickly began to "google"

I had to know what was safe....

I've since coughed again...

but it's always followed by a smile,

because I know my Nutter Butter just jumped around!

Finally....

So I finally started the blog I said I was going to start back in January, but I guess now more than ever I have lots to write about. Interesting or not, I'm no good with journals (I've lost them all) I can't lose my blog!

We have a lot going on right now....Anthony and I have been married now for 142 days (thanks facebook counter) Since November 1st 2008, and I must say we got the shock of our lives when my pregnancy test came up "pregnant" on January 16Th, I still won't ever forget that day, I've never experienced so many emotions all at once. I honestly had to say I kinda knew that I was, intuition I guess, but I had been putting off taking the test, finally that Saturday morning at 5am I couldn't lay in bed wondering anymore. I jumped up and took the test, ironically I was very calm during those two minutes, right up until the point I picked up the test and saw my results. I snatched the bathroom door open, and in a voice I've never heard before screamed "I'm pregnant"! Poor Anthony, jumps out of bed and almost goes running for the door. I just kept screaming until I backed into the bathroom and just fell on the floor crying. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad, scared or excited....but at that very moment I felt all those emotions all at once. We had only been married 2 1/2 months and had "planned" on waiting 2-5yrs before we had any kids....God had planned something different.

After a few hours of shock, going from happy to sad I realized I was more scared than anything.
Scared that I wouldn't be a good mother, Scared we didn't have enough room in the apartment for a baby, Scared we didn't have enough room in our truck for a baby, Scared that I would be a failure at the one thing I have always wanted most in life.

We then together made a choice, to move forward knowing that God would always put us in situations that we CAN'T handle, but only so we would put it in his hands and let him handle it.
His strength is perfect, when I'm falling apart on the bathroom floor, His words are perfect when Anthony has no idea what to say to bring me comfort.

Now about 13 weeks in, I've never been more excited about anything. All I've ever wanted was to marry Anthony and have his babies, just as we always promised each other when we were just 10 and 13yrs old. It's been difficult with morning/ afternoon/ night sickness, not being able to keep anything down, my lack of energy and my expanding body, but having him by my side, telling me it will all be okay, and how grateful he his is that I'm having his baby, makes it easier. Not to mention knowing that in 6 months I will get to hold this sweet little gift, and love this baby for a lifetime.